Hello all,
Open-source and newcomers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been here for 2 weeks already and I want to share some thoughts from the point of view of a newcomer.
I want to make a claim as an axiom and see where it goes from there. If you don't agree with the axiom you should probably read something on ethology and group behavior.
I beg you to be open-minded.
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So the axiom is:
"A closed group of humans (and many other social animals) usually is emotionally and irrationally unfriendly to newcomers, due to the evolutionary baggage we all share."
The group assumes a hostile position to a newcomer. Many members don't realize what is going on. It simply feels like: "I just hate this guy!"
Members, of course, feel special and somewhat better, just because they are part of the group. They see newcomers as not-worthy to some extent, just because the newcomer is not in the group. They see the newcomer as an alien and – as a threat. Subconsciously. Don't bother to reply and tell me that I am not-worthy to be seen as a threat :)
The general feeling is "Who the f#ck he thinks he is? He's not from our group, he is not one of us (he didn't do anything to our project yet). Blah-blah-blah... I just hate this guy!". This irrational hate is very tangible, believe me. It is very de-motivational. (And I probably shouldn't have reacted the way I did to some of it, but, hey, I am no Jesus Christ, and it's only now that I've sorted those things out for myself).
But you can say: Hey, we are not hostile, because:
- "I, personally, entered the group in the past and it was Ok." - "Look at that guy and that guy – we were soooo nice to them!"
Let's see... When can a closed group readily accept a newcomer? When it doesn't perceive him as a threat.
This means the newcomer must come in a very submissive pose and exhibit not a slightest sign of aggressive attitude. Actually, the more you cry for mercy, the more chances are that you will be easily accepted into the group. Broken leg or being a total looser may help, as compassion will start to overtake the initial hostility.
The "pose" on the text-based Internet is mainly how one talks. This is an example of a submissive pose:
"Oh, Great Lords, you are so cool and I am not worthy. I beg you to let me develop for ReactOS, I am not much, but I will dutifully learn from you, Wise Masters, I will catch every word you say and ignore any insults you will throw my way. I will not criticize you in any way. I will do all the shitty tasks silently and obediently for several years until I slowly climb your social ladder. I will not complain of being called stupid and not-worthy 'cause that's who I am..."
And so it goes... An ass-kisser, to be short.
And then the Wise Great Masters will generously allow this no-worthy worm into their Temple.
This happens everywhere. Just take a closer look.
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But this constitutes a problem. The group acts as a filter that favors the wrong kind of people.
Because a good developer, after all, is usually opinionated, criticizes what he thinks is wrong, doesn't like to be called stupid and be given insults and shitty tasks. He challenges existing routines and things the group got used to. He is a threat.
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Unfortunately, I do not have a solution. I just want to attract your attention to it.
P.S. You may ask – didn't you think that this hostility is a consequence of you being a jerk? If being a jerk means not kissing asses of Great Masters – then yeah, I may be guilty of that.
P.P.S. Before posting a reply, please take a look inside you and try to see if that reply is based on "I just hate this guy!" :)
Thanks!